The Toxic Trap: Staying Together For The Kids

There's never a perfect time for divorce…especially for couples with children. From young to old, infants to teenagers, experiencing your parents splitting up is a life-changing moment. Love doesn’t always conquer all, which is a difficult concept to explain to kids. 

But maintaining a loveless marriage can be detrimental to a family’s entire future. In 20 years, you could see your child making the same mistakes with their spouse, knowing that they are modeling the same toxic relationship you faced. 

So while there is not a good time to divorce, with preparation and planning, you can help your children cope with the change and create a positive, loving environment. 

Decided On Divorce? You’re Not Alone

You’ve realized divorce inevitable, but the toughest part will be breaking the news to your children. They are about to be hit with a whirlwind of change: dividing their family home and lives between two living spaces. Financial circumstances for each household will be different, as you’ll be on a stricter budget with one income instead of two. 

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Unsurprisingly, the act of divorce takes a tremendous amount of effort. Many couples use the summer vacation to experience once-in-a-lifetime family memories, knowing that the end of their relationship is near. 

Back To School Season Can Be A Good Opportunity To Split

There are two notable yearly rises in divorce rates, one in March, and one following the summer season. Both of these increases happen at times where married couples are returning back to normalcy after the fun, expensive seasons (summer and winter holidays). But back-to-school season has a perk that March does not: scheduling expectations.

Children of all ages thrive on routine, so many parents find the best time to discuss divorce is when they are preparing a new routine for the upcoming school year. The first day of school forms, transportation information, approved pick ups and drop offs will need to reflect your current living situation. 

Think about it like this: a child rides the bus at mom’s house, but dad drives to school during his custody time. Establishing this bus route in the beginning of the school year is easy, but after the routes have already been formed and school has started, changing a bus schedule is a headache. 

Unhappy Marriages Don’t Have To Last

People might advise couples to “stay together for the kids,” but when children are witnessing emotional turmoil and distress in the family home, the damage can be everlasting. Research shows that people who witnessed interparental conflict indicated their quality of life felt low.

Various studies support this claim and even the most resilient children of divorce report experiencing lingering emotional pain when their divorced parents were in the same space for an event (like graduation). But with proper support during the divorce process and level-heads, your children can flourish and beat the statistics. 

While there’s no perfect time for divorce, many parents choose to tell their children around back-to-school season. As they adjust to a new home life, children can settle into their familiar school routine with their peers, making the transition smoother for everyone involved. 

Falling Out Of Love? You Need A Legal Consultation

Roughly 40% of first marriages will end in divorce. That’s okay! Being a piece of that statistic doesn’t make you a failure, rather, it is a symbol that you are building a better life for yourself and your offspring. 

Let Hickey & Hull help you during this difficult time. Speaking with our legal professionals is quick and easy, just click here to chat with our online agent and book your initial consultation today. We’ll help you build a bright future for your single-parent household, so your children can thrive.