Are You Experiencing Parental Alienation? How to Document and Confront Your Ex-Spouse

Are You Experiencing Parental Alienation? How to Document and Confront Your Ex-Spouse

Parental alienation is a devastating reality that affects many families in the U.S. — including Arkansas. This phenomenon occurs when one parent intentionally or unintentionally turns their children against the other parent, which results in effects like psychological distress.

If you live in Arkansas and suspect your spouse or ex-partner is engaging in parental alienation with your child, then it’s crucial to know your next steps. Here’s how you can recognize, document, and confront your spouse (and when it’s time to bring in professional help).

Step #1: Recognize Signs of Parental Alienation in Your Ex-Spouse

The first step is to be sure that parental alienation is occurring. This can be done by recognizing and looking for certain signs that your child is being influenced or manipulated. Some common behaviors exhibited by alienating parents include:

  • Speaking negatively about you in front of the child
  • Preventing or discouraging contact between you and your child
  • Blaming you for the end of the marriage or other problems in the family
  • Refusing to cooperate or communicate with you about parenting decisions
  • Encouraging the child to choose sides or take on adult responsibilities

Of course, not all negative comments about the other parent are considered parental alienation: Remember that context is key, and it’s ultimately up to the court to determine whether specific behaviors rise to the level of emotional abuse.

Step #2: Document Parental Alienation in Arkansas

Confronting your ex-spouse about parental alienation can be a difficult and emotionally charged experience, which is why taking action early on is crucial. Documenting instances of parental alienation can be important for establishing a pattern of behavior and building a case for legal action if necessary. Here are some steps to take:


  • Keep a journal or diary: Write down the date, time, and details of any instances where you believe your ex-spouse is engaging in parental alienation. Additionally, if your child’s behavior towards you has changed significantly since your separation or divorce, document these changes.
  • Save communication: Keep a record of any text messages, emails, or social media messages that demonstrate your ex-spouse’s attempts to alienate your child from you.
  • Keep records of missed visits: If your ex-spouse consistently cancels scheduled visits, keep a record of these instances, including the date, time, and reason given.
  • Obtain professional assessments: If you believe your child’s mental, emotional, or physical health is being negatively affected by parental alienation, it’s essential to seek the help of a mental health professional. You can start with your child’s school counselor if you would like a more accessible option. Whatever you choose to do, try to obtain an assessment or diagnosis that can be used as evidence in court.

Step #3: Effectively Confront Your Ex-Spouse

Confronting a spouse on parental alienation can be a difficult and emotionally charged experience. However, taking action early on can help protect your relationship with your child and prevent further harm. Here are some tactics that may be helpful:

  • Approach the conversation calmly and without accusation. Accusing your spouse of parental alienation may only escalate the situation and make them more defensive. Instead, express your concern for your child's well-being and ask for their cooperation in finding a solution.
  • Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. For example, instead of saying, “You are trying to turn our child against me,” say, “I feel hurt and left out when I hear our child speak negatively about me.”
  • Focus on specific behaviors, not generalizations. Rather than making broad statements about your ex-spouse’s parenting or character, point out specific actions or behaviors that are causing harm to your relationship with your child. This might include negative comments made to the child about you or interference with your scheduled visitation time. 

Confronting parental alienation can be a difficult and ongoing process, and there are no easy solutions. The key takeaway is to approach the situation with compassion, openness, and a willingness to work together.

How Hickey & Hull Law Partners Can Help You

If you are experiencing parental alienation, you don’t have to face it alone. There are resources available in Arkansas to help you and your child navigate this challenging situation like support programs, legal services, and mental health professionals who specialize in parental alienation cases.

But with the help of a family law attorney like Hickey & Hull Law Partners, you can develop a strategy for confronting parental alienation and seeking legal remedies if necessary.

Remember, you are not alone in this struggle, and Hickey & Hull Law Partners have the knowledge and resources available to help you and your child through this difficult time. By taking action and addressing parental alienation directly, you can help protect your child's mental health and preserve your relationship with them for years to come.Fill out our online form or contact us today to learn more about how we can help you. Our River Valley office number is 479.434.2414, and our Northwest Arkansas number is 479.802.6560.