Can one let go of a lifestyle easily and with grace?
Research indicates that women lose the most in the way of lifestyle in a divorce. It also indicates that most women never gain back the ground they lost. What does that mean for downsizing gracefully? It means the transition can be easier than you might think. It’s still difficult, and you may need to grieve this loss, too, but with a shift in your priorities you can begin to rebuild and let go.
Women who face the huge lifestyle change divorce brings will need to reevaluate priorities and learn to prioritize. Reevaluating can be one of the aspects you’d like to avoid because sometimes it comes down to losing quite a few perks. Can you afford to get your nails done? Can you afford your favorite shampoo? Can you afford lunch with your best friend? Can you buy new clothes or will you need to shop at a thrift store? The answer will vary, depending on the circumstance. Maybe you must prioritize only paying bills and getting groceries this month, or this year. That’s not an exaggeration, but the reward for prioritizing your priorities will be that the mani/pedi and the new dress will be reward you earned through discipline and hard work. No, the pampering won’t be as often or as easily obtained, but the meaningfulness of the experience will be all the sweeter.
Prioritizing doesn’t just involve money, although that should be the top priority (aside from children, of course). Prioritizing tasks will also be essential. A husband who barely helped around the house is still missed. A single woman, especially with young children, will need to learn efficiency in tackling chores and juggling schedules. Once you’ve evaluated your other priorities, the task of learning which household activities need to be done, which schedules can be modified, and which hours can be set aside for relationships does get easier. Remember to evaluate your energy levels and find what is absolutely necessary to run a house and your life efficiently. Efficiency is stressed because it saves time, which means the responsibilities can be completed and time for those you love can be maximized.
Yes, it’s going to look like someone dumped a huge jigsaw puzzle on your floor and threw away the lid so you can’t look at the picture, but once you sort through the pieces, discover your priorities you’ll be able to put your life back together. And you’ll find you do it with more and more grace. It will not be easy. There will be pain. There will be grief for your marriage and your lattes, but women are superheroes. You can do it. We’re here to help.