Whether you are the one asking for the divorce or not, the question of how to choose the right divorce attorney always comes up. It can be overwhelming making this decision as you have many other decisions to make in this new territory. Choosing the right attorney is perhaps one of the most important decisions you will make during this entire process. You are going to depend on your attorney to guide and direct you in many, many decisions that will have lifelong effects. He or she will be advising you on topics such as child custody, child support, spousal support, division of assets, and the list goes on and on. Additionally, your lawyer is the one that gets you through the court system. You need someone who practices in this area with experience, expertise and a proven track record.

Before I begin discussing how to choose the right attorney, I want to address a couple of questions that we commonly hear when people are beginning the divorce process: 

1. Is divorce the right answer? While we can give you advice on the timing and impacts of decisions made pertaining to a divorce, we are not able to answer that question. A divorce is a personal decision and largely up to you.
2. Do I need to tell my spouse I am filing for divorce? The short answer is no, but, again, this is a personal decision you need to make. If you and your soon-to-be ex are amicable and you want to keep it that way, then it is probably best to discuss prior to him or her being served divorce papers. If your soon-to-be ex is abusive, then it is often advisable to not let him or her know what you are planning. The actual filing of the divorce is taken care of by our firm, not you.

Let’s move on to our quick guide of how to choose a divorce lawyer that is right for you.

1. Decide what kind of legal services you need from an attorney. Everyone going through a divorce typically needs some sort of legal advice, but some need more counsel than others. For example, if you have a lot of assets, a complicated financial situation, etcetera then you will want to choose an attorney who understands finances and is equipped to handle such a divorce. If you have very few assets, no kids and there is not much to discern regarding division of property, then you will need an honest attorney that is going to take care of making sure all the paperwork is correct and filed properly. The Kevin Hickey team has experience with all types of divorce from the very simple to the very complicated.
2. Find a lawyer who is experienced in family law. This is no time to hire a friend’s husband’s, brother’s cousin who specializes in criminal law. You need a lawyer with experience who regularly works in divorce.
3. Just as with any other major decision, it is always a good idea to interview two or three attorneys to see which one you feel comfortable with and which one is going to have your put interest first. Of course, we are certain you will be happy with our firm, but this is a big decision and we want you to be completely satisfied when choosing us.

As mentioned earlier, the entire process is overwhelming and exhausting, but it is important you do your due diligence when selecting the right attorney. Resist the temptation to just settle for an attorney, because you are tired of telling your story or you just want it over with. Or worse, resist the temptation to just not hire an attorney and you both use the same attorney. We’re not saying this never works, but the odds are not in your favor. Many clients end up hiring their own attorneys, because things don’t normally stay as amicable as they were in the beginning. Save yourself the time and money and hire your own attorney from the beginning.

The Kevin Hickey Law Partner team is made up of people who are dedicated to your legal care. We are not only experienced, but we care and have your best interest in mind. Our clients are our main priority from the very first consultation all the way to the end. Call us today, we will be glad to talk to you about your divorce.

So Marie Kondo is everywhere right now. It got me thinking, and I’d like you to join me. Think of your former marriage as a cold and dark winter, and your new life as a time to let in the sunshine and rid your home of dirt and old things. What’s the phrase? Keep things that spark joy? Downsizing after divorce can mean physically downsizing, like moving to a smaller place with only the things you kept from the marriage. Downsizing can also just mean ridding yourself of the things from your former marriage that no longer “spark joy.” Cleaning out your things in the real world, downsizing, after a divorce does have restorative and hopeful moments.

Many people reading this will identify with the moving aspect of divorce. Yeah, moving as in emotional, but also as in physically changing locations. It’s sad, and often painful to leave the home you began your family in, but the opportunity to shed unnecessary things presents itself. Do you need all of those plates and coffee mugs? Cry it out, because, no, you don’t. You don’t need all of the things you once did. There’s an empty space, but in that space you can create new things. Declutter. Donate. Assess whether or not you still want the mug you bought in your 20s while on a trip together. Maybe you do want it, or maybe you can’t quite let go yet, but at some point that mug from Six Flags, or the shirt from your visit to Toronto together, will either become a thing to let go or a piece of your growth that you want to keep.

The other valuable thing about cleaning stuff from your home as you trade spaces with someone else is your ability to find yourself in that space. Divorce causes an identity crisis of sorts and a new space can be daunting in the sheer loneliness of having less, but in that minimal space you see who you are and who you can grow to be with less.

Cleaning things out, living with less, has the added value of teaching us what is truly important. We learn what love means. We learn more about ourselves. We learn the value of negative space. This spring, if you’ve faced divorce, embrace what you have with less. Take the time to clean a few other areas out and either fill them with something new, or just let the space have value in its emptiness. 

If you are divorcing, know that opening up after the darkness and confusion, letting some light and air in, can help you move forward. You can build a new home. You can build a new life and you can spark new joy. It's about to get better and we are here to help.

The other day I was listening to a Dave Ramsey podcast and a woman called in that was getting a divorce but the final divorce settlement had not yet been determined. She was calling in to ask how she needed to handle her current debt as she could not keep making the payments required and support her children. The first question he asked her was whose name the debt was in and she answered, “just mine.” Ouch. To make matters worse her income was roughly 70 percent less than her soon-to-be ex’s and they had zero assets to sell. They did not own a home nor a vehicle. I started thinking to myself, “I wonder how many of my readers find themselves in a similar situation.” I determined that the number was most likely relatively high based on my personal experience with past clients and the fact that an article published by CNBC last year reported that 43% of Americans have been carrying a credit card debt for two or more years and the average household with credit card debt owes $16,883. If you couple that with the fact that the average household income (that is the income for the entire house) in Arkansas is roughly $57,000, which makes the average individual income $29,000. If one person is stuck with all of the debt that equates to 58 percent of their income making it nearly impossible to pay the debt and support their family. The advice given by Dave Ramsey was first and foremost is that she needed to make sure her children were taking care of first and then try to pay the minimum payments if she could until the divorce was settled. My advice to her would be similar in that she needs to put her family first by making sure her children’s needs were taken care of and then worry about the debt, but from an attorney’s point of view, we need to get this case settled as soon as possible.

Dividing debts can be an especially contentious issue since neither spouse wants to end up paying more than his or her fair share. Debt division works in a similar way as asset division. In general, if the debts are acquired during the marriage then they are considered marital debts that can be divided equally. If the debts were acquired before the marriage, then they are typically considered to be the sole responsibility of whoever acquired them at the time. As with most law cases, it is not always that cut and dry. There are many factors the courts will consider, one of which is if those premarital debts were transferred to a joint account, i.e., transferred to another credit card for lower interest or to consolidate debt. In other cases such as those involving student loans, although the debt is in only one person’s name, the loan could be viewed as an investment by both spouses to help improve their household income in the future. The judge may rule that the student loan debt is the responsibility of both spouses.

Yes, Arkansas is an equitable distribution state, but as I have mentioned in past blogs, equitable is not always equal. Check out this past blog about division of marital property. When there is a significant disparity in incomes, as in the case of the woman that called into the Dave Ramsey show, a judge may determine that a fair settlement would be to require one spouse to take more responsibility for the debt to be considered “an equitable distribution.”

Another bit of advice, if you are going through a divorce and have joint credit cards cancel them to avoid a further debt accumulation by the other spouse that may cause more debt to accumulate. Keep detailed records of your charges once you separate to prove who incurred the debt.

Call Kevin Hickey Law Partners today so we can help reduce some of the stress during this uncertain chapter in your life. Let us help you navigate the complex world of divorce, property and debt division. Our experience can help you understand what your options going forward may be and how to negotiate a settlement in your and your children’s best interests.