Don't Enter Dangerous Territory

Peter Benchley, the author of the novel Jaws, died in 2006.  Although he was mostly pleased with Steven Spielberg's motion picture based on his novel, he was not entirely thrilled with the way sharks were portrayed in the movie.  A conservationist at heart, Benchley was always quick to remind people that the ocean was the home of the sharks, and that we as humans were the intruders.  Not the other way around.

Do you ever tread in areas that you should avoid?

In domestic relations cases I often counsel clients that the more opportunities you give your spouse (or ex-spouse) to communicate with you, the more opportunities there will be for arguments to ensue.  Or worse, domestic violence.  If your spouse or ex-spouse always seems to argue with you, even about the smallest of issues, it may be best to avoid communication altogether.  The problem is that many clients continue to stay in contact with the other person, thereby providing opportunities for the spouse or ex-spouse to create chaos with their words and actions.

If you are in this situation, don't play the game.  Don't give your spouse or ex-spouse airtime.

Don't get me wrong.  I always encourage clients to work with their spouse towards a peaceful resolution of their divorce - PROVIDED they are on good terms and are able to talk with each other rationally and civilly.  This is always the best way if it's feasible.  However, if bitterness and other negative emotions are prevalent, then communication usually makes the situation worse instead of better.