Life After Divorce: The Ring
The wedding ring: a symbol of the constancy of love and commitment. We take time to search for the right shape of diamond and style of band. I once read an article that stated the cost of the band and the wedding was an indicator of how long the marriage might last: the more you spend, the longer they marriage might last because the investment proved the commitment. I don’t know if that’s true, but there are few things in the entire marriage process as symbolic as the ring. So after a marriage ends, what happens to that circle of metal?
Although this seems like a therapeutic method, it’s really a waste to throw a wedding ring or band away. Reconsider. This symbol might not mean very much to you anymore, but before you toss it, give it a few months in a drawer somewhere. You can decide after the pain and anger dull. Most decisions made out of an emotion should be given space and time to think. This is the same.
If you don’t want to keep the ring, why not donate it? It might seem odd to donate something associated with a marriage that ended, but your story isn’t someone else’s. Rings are expensive. It’s the heart that counts, right? Donating might be what’s in your heart. It might bring you peace to know the ring has another chance to symbolize lasting love and happiness for someone who might not be able to afford much.
Create Something New
I’ve known those who take the ring and have it melted down. It’s like upcycling? Maybe not. But taking you wedding band and letting a craftsman help you create a new piece of jewelry is just as symbolic and hopeful as the ring’s original purpose. The other important aspect of this is that jewelry can be made not for you, but for your children. The marriage didn’t last, but your children are actually the jewels from that marriage. Why not give them their own symbolic piece of jewelry to show them that they aren’t products of pain, but the most beautiful expressions of love?
Another valid method of disposing of your ring is to sell it and make a little money off of the item. In the Persian culture, women are given a gold coin in case of divorce. It’s a symbol now, a tradition, but think of your ring as the equivalent of a gold coin. The money can help you start anew, or help you take trip. Whatever you need the money for, use it to help with the process of letting go and moving forward.
Whatever you decide, take time to consider all of your options. Even selling the rings and then donating to a cause is an excellent option. Honor your love and your commitment by finding the right way to express that your marriage was valid, your intentions were good, and find what seems fitting for letting go of your ring -- even if that means your ring stays in the bottom of your sock drawer for the rest of your days.