couple with red X on hands

How Do You Know When It Is Time For a Divorce?

Ending a marriage isn’t something you should take lightly and really should be a last resort. It is never easy making a decision to end something that began as a happy occasion and full of hopes and dreams for the future. Divorce is certainly not something that comes to mind in the beginning, but as time goes on, you or your spouse may begin to have doubts about the relationship. If a life without your spouse becomes something that seems more appealing than life with him or her then it may be time to consider that a divorce is the best decision. All couples go through rough patches and if you ever have a married couple tell you they never have … they are lying! Life gets hard and marriages get hard. So, how do you know when it is time to end the relationship or if it is just a rough patch?

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Communication is everything.” That phrase fits just about anything in life from business relationships to friendships to marriages. A survey conducted by the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts reported that the number one cause of divorce across North America is “basic incompatibility” beating out infidelity by nearly double. In my opinion, the “basic incompatibility” is usually rooted by other causes that could have been prevented had the couple just had an open line of communication. When they reported the findings for the study, they also included findings from an academic study, “Examining the Relationship Between Financial Issues and Divorce” where they looked at data from 4,574 couples. The data revealed that the majority of couples argued about children, money, in-laws, and spending time together with money being the number one argument. Based on my experience, if you look deeper at these issues, it all goes back to communication, or the lack of, these issues could have easily been resolved had the couples had an open line of communication. If you find yourself in a situation, where there is no communication or you are constantly at odds with one another to the point that you can no longer have a conversation about things that matter; it may be time for a divorce if you have exhausted all other resources.

If a couple is lacking in the intimacy department, it may be a sign that trouble is on the horizon. This is, of course, when the lack of intimacy is not due to health issues or some other cause beyond the couple’s control. However, if a healthy couple that once had no trouble with intimacy is suddenly finding that they cannot remember the last time they were intimate, it may be a red flag.

“Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.” Once trust is broken in a marriage, it can be nearly impossible to build back. If you cannot trust the person you made marriage vows to, then it may be time to consider getting a divorce. In my experience, cheating and lying both fit into the trust category.

When a relationship becomes toxic, it is time to end the marriage. A relationship that is full of negative energy really has nowhere to go. Some toxic relationships can be mentally, emotionally or physically abusive. Often couples try to work through this in counseling and many have found success, IF the spouse causing the toxicity is willing to change. In my book, any type of abuse is never acceptable.  

If you, your spouse or you both have agreed that divorce is the best alternative, contact Kevin Hickey Law Partners. We have many years of experience helping couples settle divorce cases. Some are easy and some are not as easy. In either case, we can help. Call today to schedule your consultation.