When a couple decides to terminate their marriage, things can and probably will get heated at some point. This is particularly true when children are involved. It is easy to lose your cool and let emotions get the best of you and, frankly, no one can blame you when things escalate, but it is important to remember your children and what is in the best interest of them. My advice to clients regarding the do’s and don’ts of child custody in Arkansas are:

1. Do Keep Discussions Age Appropriate for Children – Use your best judgement when it comes to telling kids about every detail regarding the case. Determine what is age appropriate for them. This is a difficult time for them as well; they do not need the extra stress of worrying about the case. Children will often imagine the worst-case scenario and internalize it or act out. Keep in mind this is his or her father or mother.
2. Do Not Talk Poorly of the Other Parent in Front of the Children – Again, this is your children’s father or mother. It is important to not speak ill of your soon-to-be ex in front of the kids. Besides the fact that this can affect your children mentally, courts do not look favorable on parents who throw their children in the middle of a custody battle. You should also use caution when discussing matters with friends either in person or over the phone. Make sure your kids are not around where they overhear your conversation. Do not post anything negative on social media.
3. Do Show Willingness to Work with Your Ex – Your ex will in all likelihood be in your children’s lives from now on. Therefore, it is not only important for you to work with him or her for their sake, it is important for the judge to see that you are willing to work with your ex and not using your children as pawns in an ugly divorce/custody battle.
4. Do Not Begin a Romantic Relationship – You may be ready to move on with your life after a bad marriage, but it is advisable to avoid beginning any romantic relationships until your divorce is final. If you do decide to begin a romantic relationship, absolutely do not introduce the children to your partner until the divorce is final. Keep in mind that Arkansas is a conservative state and the courts tend to frown upon children being around romantic partners.
5. Do Not Allow Unmarried Romantic Partners  to Stay the Night When the Children are Present – As mentioned, Arkansas is a conservative state and cohabitation between unmarried partners does not look favorable to the courts. Even if your divorce and custody case are final, cohabitation could be grounds for changing custody.
6. Do Be Aware that Perception is Everything – The only thing the courts have to go by is the evidence that is presented to them and what they perceive to be true. Do everything you can to present yourself to the court as a competent, involved, loving parent. This includes your appearance to the judge and maintaining proper courtroom etiquette. This also includes watching what you post on social media. Anything can be used against you. See Brad Hull’s, an attorney with Kevin Hickey Law Partners, past blog about social media and divorce.
7. Do Request an In-Home Custody Evaluation – This is not needed in every case, but as mentioned in item #6, perception is everything. If you believe that your ex could present you in a negative way to the judge, you may want to consider this option as a way to assure the courts you are a fit parent.
8. Do Maintain Honesty with Your Lawyer – In order to present your case to the best of your attorney’s ability, it is imperative that he or she knows every detail regarding the situation. Leaving out important details will damage your case and your attorney’s ability to address them before the judge.

Let Kevin Hickey Law Partners help you protect you and the best interest of your children. We can help guide you personally through the do’s and don’ts of your custody case with our extensive knowledge and expertise.

Are you thinking of filing for divorce? If so, there are few important things you should know before you file. Many times couples will start the divorce process on amicable terms, but more often than not, it does not end that way. Remember, divorce is not just a business deal gone bad, there are real emotions involved and a lot of life has happened between the two of you. Based on my experience, my top 10 tips of things to know before you file are:

1. Keep Track of Your Spouse’s Money – Has your spouse recently applied for a loan or made a large asset purchase? Keep copies of recent financial documents as well as past financial documents.

2. Take Pictures of Key Assets – When the emotions begin to spin out of control, many soon-to-be exes begin to do things out of spite like selling large assets without your knowledge, moving money around to various bank accounts. If this does happen, pictures and copies of documents will aid your case in court. When divorce proceedings start, the necessary documents can “mysteriously disappear.” Making copies ahead of time will help protect you and aid your case. 

3. Do not Hide Assets – Trying to deceive your spouse by hiding or concealing assets is against the law. If discovered, you will lose credibility in court along with any penalties like monetary sanctions that the judge decides appropriate. It is best to be forthcoming and declare all assets up front. 

4. Get Property Valued – Unfortunately, many spouses do not follow the advice of item #3, so it is necessary for you to protect yourself and get property valued. Almost all property is fair game and divisible when it comes to divorce, with a few exceptions (see my previous blog regarding division of marital property for more details about this subject), especially if you have been married for a long period of time. It is best to have items valued by an expert such as a real estate appraiser for all real property. Other items that need appraised by professionals are jewelry, art, collections, anything valuable that can’t be easily valued by the average consumer. 

5. Know Your Assets – Don’t mistakenly assume that your largest asset is your home. Do not overlook your spouse’s retirement account. The court could consider its future value when dividing assets. 

6. Know Your Debt – Do not agree to divide debt you did not accumulate. Generally speaking, unless you are a signatory on a loan document, or a joint applicant for credit, then you should not have to worry about them. As with all law, there are exceptions, debt should be handled by a separate property settlement agreement, and one spouse may be ordered to be responsible for another spouse’s debt, if there is legal justification. 

7. Know Which Monies Received are Taxable - If it is considered alimony, the person paying can be written off as a tax deduction, but the person receiving alimony must claim it as taxable income. If money is simply transferred in a divorce settlement, it is not considered taxable income. In this case, however, the person paying the money does not receive a tax break. 

8. Make Yourself Employable - It is not uncommon that one spouse has chosen to forgo his or her career in a marriage. It is advisable to update your resume and education now. It is not in your best interest to depend on an anticipated spousal support award. 

9. Know What You Want – Consider what assets and terms you want. I have seen it happen repeatedly; many couples are wrapped up in the fight and never really consider what they actually want. Fight only for the things that are important to you and use the rest as a bargaining tool for compromise. 

10. Choose the Right Lawyer for You – Find an attorney that you feel comfortable with and is a good fit for you and your case.

Every couple’s situation is different and should be reviewed by a competent attorney to get specific and reliable legal advice. Let Kevin Hickey Law Partners give you advice and knowledge specific to your needs. Knowledge is power.