Everyone understands that the divorce process causes emotions to run high and people often act out of character by reacting irrationally. These irrational reactions and behaviors can have a detrimental effect on your custody case. The court will evaluate your behavior in its entirety throughout the proceedings when determining custody.

To begin when determining the placement of a child, the best interest of the child is always considered. For more details on the criteria the courts consider, see our past blog, about child custody.

No matter what type of custody arrangement you are fighting for—full, joint, weekends, etc., the court will evaluate all of your behavior. A good rule of thumb is to behave as if the judge were standing next to you each time you have any form of communication with the children and/or the other parent. This includes face to face interactions, phone conversations and text messages. This is also a good rule of thumb to keep in mind when making social media posts. Social media posts can be particularly devastating even if you later regret it and delete the post, it’s already out there and you can almost guarantee that someone has a screenshot of it. Also, avoid talking negatively about the other parent when they are with you. Kids tend to repeat and mimic everything they see and do and after all this is their mom or dad. It is always best to take the high road. The children can often feel torn and forced to choose one parent over the other.

Remain active in your children’s activities and schedules. Just because you and your ex can no longer be married, you can co-parent (see our past blog about successful co-parenting). Now is more important than ever for your children to see you at their ballgames, plays, and other activities. The courts will also take note of your continued involvement and commitment to your kids.

You are ready to move on to the next chapter in your life, but it is best to avoid moving in with your significant other. Courts are reluctant to put kids in this situation and do not appreciate children being exposed to significant others while a divorce proceeding is going on. Children have a hard time understanding that their mom or dad’s love has transferred to another person and could feel uncomfortable around the new partner.

Just as you shouldn’t criticize your ex in front of the children, do not criticize him or her in front of family, friends, co-workers, etc. You can always assume that your comments will get back to the other person.

Never deny contact, such as telephone calls, texting or social media with the other parent when the children are with you. The judge will see this as alienation of affection. Again, you don’t want the kids to feel as though they have to choose one parent over the other.

Never, never take the children out of town without telling the other parent. Besides showing disrespect to the other parent, this could be considered kidnapping and result in emergency orders restricting or terminating your parenting time or custody. According to the FBI, “By law (specifically the 1982 Missing Children’s Act), any person younger than 18 whose whereabouts are unknown to his or her legal custodian” is considered to be a missing person. When a child is believed to be abducted and taken across state lines, the FBI can become involved.

The same rule as above applies to removing children out of daycare and/or school. Even if you are the primary custodian, the children should stay in school unless there is a valid reason for the absence that has been discussed with the other parent, i.e., doctor’s visits, dental appointments.

If a temporary custody, order and child support have been put in place until a final decision has been made, be sure to follow it and pay the child support as ordered.

Finally, follow your attorney’s advice throughout the entire process. This is a stressful time and you are often not making decisions with a clear head. Your attorney will keep you focused on the ultimate goal of surviving the divorce process while protecting your rights to your most valuable asset—your children.

When fighting for your custodial rights, hire Kevin Hickey Law Partners because there are never any guarantees in custody battles. We have the experience in family law matters and are here to help you.

When obtaining a marriage license in Arkansas you will have to choose which type of marriage you wish to obtain. Either a “regular” marriage or a covenant marriage.

1) A regular marriage is just what it sounds like. It is a conventional marriage between two consenting adults along with other requirements such as:

• Both parties are old enough to legally marry within the state (over the age of 18 or parental consent is required for parties age 15 to 17)

• Both parties are capable of entering the marriage both physically and mentally

• Consent to marry was not obtained through fraud

• Neither party was forced to marry the other

• The marriage is not incestuous

2) A covenant marriage involves a few more details, which results in it being a bit harder to obtain a divorce. Only three states Arkansas, Arizona and Louisiana offer a covenant marriage option. A covenant marriage sounds like something that was established in the 1800s, but it was actually only passed into law in 1997. Louisiana became the first state to pass such a law. In 2001, Arkansas passed the Covenant Marriage Act.

The two-tiered covenant system of marriage was designed to strengthen the family. Some studies have shown this type of marriage has had some success. Couples receiving counseling are less likely to get divorced and other communities are reporting a decline in divorce rates. Although, Arkansas is still reporting one of the highest divorce rates in the nation, this may not be reflective of the couples that choose to obtain a covenant marriage.

A covenant marriage requires premarital counseling before getting married and getting a divorce. However, abuse, felony, adultery, abandonment, or long periods of separation are conditions accepted for obtaining a divorce. Covenant marriages try to establish a renewed commitment to having a long-term marriage. Therefore, quickie divorces are not possible. 

Additionally, the act allows couples that are already married to execute a declaration of intent to designate their marriage a Covenant Marriage by signing a recitation and an affidavit after receiving counseling (the counselor must attest to the counseling). Finally, the intent must be filed with the official who issues marriage licenses in the county of which the couple lives.

The bottom line of covenant marriage laws is that a couple cannot get a divorce easily. A no-fault divorce would not be an option. A no-fault divorce allows a spouse to file for a divorce without proving any fault on the part of the other spouse. The most common reason is “irreconcilable differences” or an “irreparable breakdown of the marriage.” A covenant marriage would require a more detailed reason for divorce.

A third type of marriage is a common law marriage. Many states recognize common law marriages such as our neighboring state of Oklahoma, but Arkansas does not if the couple has only cohabited in the state of Arkansas. Arkansas has never recognized common law marriage. Few circumstances will allow the state of Arkansas to recognize such a marriage:

• If the parties gained that status in another state. For example, if the couple lived in Oklahoma and had done all things to establish a valid common law marriage there, Arkansas would recognize it as a “regular” marriage.

• Each partner signed power of attorney papers while in the relationship.

Keep in mind that the date of actually declaring the specific type of marriage can be established by the court. This is why it is a good idea to sign durable power of attorney and medical power of attorney papers to connect a date to the common law marriage claim.  Dividing assets when a couple separates after cohabiting for several years if no common law marriage has been established can be a real challenge. Additionally, if one of the spouses dies, it can be an even bigger problem. If a couple cohabited together for 20 plus years, but never really established a common law marriage by a power of attorney, there is a strong chance he or she will not receive any of the deceased spouses retirement benefits.

It is imperative that you protect yourself, we will be happy to assist you in developing your power of attorney and all your marriage law needs. Contact Kevin Hickey Law Partners today.

After the divorce is finally settled, your first instinct might be to cut all ties with your ex and move on to the next chapter in your life. If you have minor children, that is not possible. You have a lifelong connection regardless of your feelings about him or her. It is in the best interest of the children to move past the emotions and come up with a plan to successfully co-parent. Continually holding animosity towards one another creates a stressful situation for both you and your ex, but more importantly, your children.

Successful co-parenting after divorce helps the children have a feeling of stability, creates healthy relationships with both parents, lessens the chances of the children feeling abandoned by a parent, allows for a faster adjustment to the new family dynamic, less behavioral issues and many more positive influences in the children’s lives. Additionally, remember you are setting an example for your children. This is your opportunity to be a positive role model to show them how to work together in adversity.

The following tips are helpful in establishing successful co-parenting:

• Keep it professional – Think of it as a business deal. We have all worked with people we do not necessarily like, but because it was business, we successfully got the job done. This is exactly how you should consider co-parenting. Keeping communication business-like lessens the chances of saying or doing things that push emotional buttons. Keep it brief and to the point.

• Communication, communication, communication – These days there is really no excuse for lack of communication. If in in the beginning it is hard to see your ex face-to-face and communicating in a calm manner, communicate via texting and email. Be sure to review those texts and emails before sending to avoid a misunderstanding.

• Share information about important issues and events – No one wants to be kept in the dark about important issues and events regarding their children. Remember the old saying, “Put yourself in their shoes.” You wouldn’t want to be left in the dark about these things, so why would your ex. Create a shared calendar through Outlook or Google Calendar. Utilizing a shared calendar keeps everyone on the same page. If your kids are old enough, allow them access as well. If it is your ex’s visitation, communicate about the need for a baseball mitt or dance shoes ahead of time. Add these items to the shared calendar as well. It is difficult for many parents to accept the fact they will not be there for every moment of their child’s life, the calendar will allow them to have hands-on, instant access to their children’s schedules.

• Never Assume, don’t tell, discuss – Keep an open dialogue. Never assume the other parent knows or does not care to know, definitely don’t tell your ex how it is going to be without discussion. Discuss all things child-related together.

• Maintain similar rules – To successfully co-parent there cannot be two sets of rules at each parent’s home. You don’t want your children playing one parent against the other. Avoid being the “easy parent.”

• Stay flexible – Life happens. Inevitably, you will be late for a child exchange with the other parent and vice versa. Try to remember that and stay flexible when things don’t go exactly as planned. You both should try to the best of your ability to be on time, but when things happen like working late, being stuck in traffic and so forth, be forgiving. Also, have the kids ready for pick-ups and drop offs.

• Avoid confrontation in front of the kids – Of course, co-parenting is not always going to be rainbows and butterflies, but try to keep any disagreements between one another in private and away from the children. Definitely do not speak ill of the other parent in front of the kids. This destroys everything you have worked for to create a successful co-parenting environment.

• Hire a parent facilitator - If you absolutely cannot work together, consider working with a parent facilitator. A facilitator is an unbiased, third party that will help you work out parenting issues together. Think of them like a referee or coach. The parent facilitator allows you to reach amicable resolutions and agreements together without going through the court process.

Kevin Hickey Law Partners will help you work through the divorce process, custody agreements and co-parenting success. Call us today.

 In Arkansas, generally all property acquired during a marriage belongs to both parties—including a business. A business is subject to equitable property division as it is considered the marital estate. Some situations regarding business interest are cut and dry because the business interest is a minimal asset and others are not as they are a significant asset.

Children are often at the center of many arguments amongst couples during the divorce process and often times after the divorce is settled. During the tumultuous time of a divorce proceeding and custody arrangements, parents’ emotions can take over and leave the children in the middle. The courts’ duty is to serve the best interest of the children. In order to protect the best interest of the interest, the judge may order an attorney ad litem or guardian ad litem. The judge makes the determination if either of these is necessary if he or she feels the minor(s) needs their own independent legal representation or protection.

Under Arkansas Code, §28-1-111, (a) “circuit courts shall have the power and duty to appoint a guardian ad litem to a proceeding to represent an incompetent party who is not represented by a guardian or next friend and, for the protections of the interests of a nonresident party who is not represented before the court and has not been personally served with notice, to appoint an attorney ad litem to give notice to the nonresident of the pendency and nature of the proceeding as is provided by law with respect to proceedings in courts of equity.”

(b) “The appointment of a guardian ad litem or attorney may be made by the clerk of the court at any time after the initial of a proceeding by the filling of a petition, subject to the approval of the court.”

Guardian Ad Litem

This person is appointed to represent the best interest of the child and does not have to be a lawyer. Such persons can be volunteer advocates, such as CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates), non-attorney licensed professionals such as counselors and social workers, and any adult the court determines to be competent to serve as a guardian ad litem. In some cases, the lawyer is appointed both the attorney and guardian ad litem.

Attorney Ad Litem

This is an attorney who provides legal services to a person, including a child. In family law, the minor often does not have a legal representative unless one is appointed by the Court.

Once the Court appoints an attorney ad litem, they will interview the involved child, all involved parties and any witnesses to determine the best way to represent the child. Then, they must conduct an investigation into the facts of the case along with determining the child’s wishes, if possible. The attorney ad litem is responsible for taking any actions deemed necessary. If the attorney deems necessary, he or she could conduct discovery, file motions and move to promote settlement of the litigation

The attorney ad litem will present to the court all relevant facts regarding the case, the child’s wishes and the ad litem’s deteriming of the child’s best interest. He or she will file appropriate pleadings on behalf of the child, call witnesses, participant fully in examination of witnesses, present relevant evidence an advocate for timely hearings.

The primary difference between a guardian ad litem and attorney ad litem is that the attorney is not a witness and advocates for his or her client. A guardian ad litem is intended to become a witness as to what is in the best interest of the child. This person becomes an integral party of the proceedings and acts on behalf of the child in the case. Both will have regular contact with the child. Both will appear at all hearings to represent the best interest of the child.

Factors used to determine the best interest of a child are:

• Moral fitness – integrity, character, compassion, sobriety, religious training
• Stability – emotional, work, financial, residence, school, healthy
• Love and affection – attention given, discipline, attitude toward cooperation with the other party regarding eh child’s needs
• The Child: relevant information regarding the child such as stated preferences, age, health and testing evaluations
• Home and Location – Location, size, family composition

Kevin Hickey Law Partners has extensive experience and expertise in family law cases. We will be happy to help you determine which service is of the best interest for you.

If you haven’t watched the Kid President videos in a while, go out and do that now. It will help establish your faith in humanity again. The people at Soul Pancake on YouTube bring some uplifting content. It was after a Kid President marathon that I explored some of the other videos recommended, and I couldn’t resist one entitled “That Moment Divorce Changes Your World.”

Divorce definitely changes your world. In this particular video, political hints and agendas aside, I was struck with how divorce can transform a lost person into the person they were created to be. We often only read or hear about the devastation and trouble divorce causes. (Yes, this is a law blog, but that doesn’t mean we believe divorce is a good thing.) In this blog we discuss matters surrounding divorce in order to equip you with knowledge, because knowledge is truly power, but what if we stopped for a minute and talked about the good that can arise from a new start? That’s what a divorce can be -- a new start. You can live your best life, even after divorce.

People marry young, and that is a beautiful, hopeful part of the human experience. Young marriages often end, even 20 years later, because people change. We should change. We should grow and expand. The challenge in marriage is that through the growth, through the change, we should stay connected to our partner. Too often, this does not happen and the rift is so wide that a bridge across is difficult to even conceive, let alone build.

What happens next is usually a divorce. But as this young woman in the video describes, divorce has the power to challenge the facade we have built around ourselves. Perhaps the relationship fell apart because it was never based on reality. Many times, as people begin to discuss their divorce, it comes down to something about identity. Sometimes it is a loss of identity. Sometimes it is discovering identity. What this woman discusses is real. When we divorce, we can find in ourselves a deeper, more authentic version of ourselves. The power of seeking through the brokenness, or wandering through the shock until we bump into it, is that we find a more authentic piece of ourselves.

Too often we build relationships around broken pieces, or incomplete ones. Divorce can keep us in this cycle, or it can free us from it. After divorce, people can feel lost, confused, hurt and alone. An individual can begin to find their way out of this by discovering who they are, what they dream, what they want, and in this way, begin to live their best life.

Remember, it’s about to get better. We’re here to help.