The holidays are just over a month away and we often see many clients wrestling with whether or not to file for divorce before or after the holiday season. In our professional opinion, there are good and bad points to both choices. There are several reasons to grin and bear it until after the holiday season practically, financially and emotionally. Yet, filing for divorce before the end of year can give you the peace of mind to start the New Year fresh and avoid any chance that something could derail your divorce plans like an illness or loss of a job.

Reasons to Delay Divorce until After the Holidays

• If you and your spouse can maintain civility and amicability through the holidays, it may be a good idea to get through them if you have kids at home. This will help keep your children from associating the holidays with the divorce. It is hard for children to adapt to a new home and the idea of spending the holidays separately with each parent. No, we’re not saying to “stay together for the kids”, but it is an unintentional consequence that you must consider.
• This may seem superficial and materialistic, but things like this are what you pay your attorney to think about for you—year-end bonuses. If your spouse received a year-end bonus, you may be hurting your chances of receiving half of it. Of course, even if you wait until January to file, you may encounter backlash from your spouse’s attorney. If the payment is considered to be for services from the past year, you have a good chance of receiving half since you lived with your spouse for the entire year.
• Taxes are not always at the forefront of your mind when you are wrestling with the idea of filing for divorce, but waiting until the first of the year will make filing the previous year much easier. Beginning the New Year with a clean slate so to speak, will make tax preparation much simpler in the future.
• You will have the opportunity to gather information for your attorney such as all marital assets and debts. You will also have the opportunity to get personal things such as finances and a place to live if you will be moving out of the family home.

Reasons to File for Divorce before the Holidays

• If you and your spouse are continuously fighting, delaying the divorce may do more harm than good. Delaying the inevitable only places all parties, including your children, under stress.
• Many life factors beyond your control can happen in a split second causing you to delay your divorce plans. Significant events such as the loss of job or an illness can negate your feelings of wanting a divorce. After all, you have history with this person and you can’t help but feel drawn to want to help them through such a difficult time.
• If it’s time, it’s time. Delaying a divorce to avoid short-term pain is still going to hurt in the end. It is going to hurt the people that it will hurt regardless of when you do it.
• Knowing the decision you will ultimately make could make the holidays harder on everyone by stewing on it.
• If your spouse is abusive, it is imperative that you leave him or her immediately for your safety as well as your children’s safety.

Whether you decide to file for divorce before the end of the year or after is a personal decision that must have all outcomes weighed for your best interest as well as your children’s best interests. Remember, what matters the most is how you deliver the news to those immediately affected by the decision. Of course, you need to be sensitive of the timing. For example, it is not advisable to do it on Christmas morning or any significant day for that matter.

We at Kevin Hickey Law Partners encourage you to schedule a consultation with us to help you determine the best timing. Even if you decide to wait until after the first of the year, it is a good idea to make your appointment today to begin preparations for the filing. Our experience will help you make the best decisions for your circumstance to help you get through the holiday season.

People always say money can’t buy happiness. Yes, that is true, but not having enough money can certainly add a burden creating feelings of uneasiness and insecurity. Money becomes high on the list during divorce processes. It falls in line right after child custody. Of course, you need to be concerned with your financial wellness after a divorce. However, many people get caught up in wanting particular assets (in most cases that is the family home), but do not consider the financial effects long after the divorce is granted and everyone has moved on. As your legal representation, we at Kevin Hickey Law Partners want to work with you to aid you in surviving financially after divorce. It doesn’t matter if you are a financial-savvy businessperson or a stay at home parent, this is a stressful process and you need an outside representative to help you think logically and clearly. Our goal is to help alleviate financial fears, bring you confidence in financial decisions being made during the divorce and ultimately financial independence. We will get to work on your financial autonomy by considering the following:

1) It may seem like a no-brainer, but many people do not think it through clearly that their income will drop after the divorce is final. You will need to make a budget according to the income you will have after the divorce. Your income includes spousal and child support as well as your regular income. Based on the information you give us up front, we can help you determine a general idea of what income, if any, to expect either receive or payout for spousal and child support. The budget will also need to be based off expenses you anticipate. Check out our blog about writing a successful parenting plan to help you determine which expenses you will be responsible for.

2) Do any “homework” your attorney assigns to you. In order to help you determine the best course of action that is most beneficial to you, we will need to know what you have. This list includes, but is not limited to:

• Retirement accounts
• Real estate
• Personal property
• Liquid assets
• Business interests
• Debts associated with the above items and any other individual or joint debts

3) This one is always a hard one for many divorcing couples—the family home. Not only is the family home often one of the biggest assets a couple can have, but it is equally filled with many memories such as your child’s first steps, birthday parties, all things reminiscent of happier times. The home can be a hard one to let go, especially if you are not the one wanting the divorce. Kevin Hickey Law Partners will help you look at it from an unemotionally attached party. We will help you look at the facts. Can you afford to stay in the home? Not only can you make the monthly payments, but also can you afford the upkeep? How much are utilities, grounds maintenance, etcetera. It often makes no financial sense to keep the family home. There are typically two ways to handle the family home during a divorce:

• The spouse that keeps the home buys the other spouse’s share of equity. This is normally done by a cash-out refinance if you don’t have the cash on hand (which will change your monthly payments); negotiate the equity in the home for another asset, or a property settlement note.
• The couple can also sell the home during or after the divorce and split the proceeds. Depending on the housing market in your area, this could take several months.

In many cases, it is better to be the spouse receiving his or her portion of the equity and starting a fresh new chapter, which works twofold—financially and emotionally. Often times the reason a spouse wants to keep the home is that they are emotionally trying to hang onto something that just is not there anymore. It can be therapeutic for you and the children to start with a clean slate so to speak. Think of it as a new adventure you are doing together.

Your divorce settlement can either lead you to a place of financial disaster or financial peace. Let Kevin Hickey Law Partners help you gain the peace you deserve.

When the word ‘prenuptial’ is brought up, it tends to bring about ill feelings. Feelings such as your fiancé is already planning the divorce before the marriage has happened or feeling that your fiancé is not that committed to you and on and on. It is true prenuptial agreements often get a bad rap and do not always have the best intentions behind them, but they are actually more common than you think.  In particular, when it comes to second marriages and blending families, prenuptials have become fairly common. A 2015 report from Pew Research Center indicated that 16 percent of children are living with a stepparent, stepsibling or half-sibling. When blending families you and your fiancé need to make sure your children from previous marriages will be protected should this second marriage come to an end. The prenup allows you to allocate where the money goes and help protect you from debts.

A prenuptial agreement details the disposition of current and future assets in the event of a divorce or upon the death of a spouse. Money has a way of stirring up emotions and rivalries, so it is best to head off any future problems before they can occur.

When developing a prenuptial agreement, a few things to consider are:

• Each spouse must fully disclose all of their assets and debts. Particularly if this is a second marriage and you are older, you have both most likely established separate financial lives. As your lives are combined, you both need to know exactly how much the other earns, what each of you owns and owes.
• Discuss what “fair” means to each of you. Most of the time one partner will be entering the marriage with more assets than the other, so determining what is fair to each of you is crucial.
• Determine which assets will be combined and which will be kept separate.
• Will you each pay for your own children’s care or will you pay for everything out of one pool of money? This is especially critical when children with special needs are involved.
• Who will pay for routine expenses like clothes, school, and extracurricular activities? Will the funds come from blended resources or individual?
• Decide how you will deal with financial imbalances if one extended family has more resources than the other does.
• Think about future big-ticket items like buying cars for your kids and determining how college savings will be funded.
• In the event of your death, how will your life insurance be distributed? More than likely, you will want your children from a previous marriage to receive at least some portion of the money and you will also want to make sure your current wife and any children from your current marriage.
• Additionally, you want to consider your estate plan. It is important to ensure any inheritance received goes to the right people. If these things are not clearly laid out beforehand, it can create an irreparable division among family members.
• Do not forget about retirement. You each need to make saving for retirement a top priority. Will you fund individually or jointly or both? Retirement funds often become a hot topic during divorce proceedings.
• Finally, a prenuptial agreement will help protect you against certain debts. You can specify which debts belong to whom and navigate through the confusion. The prenup can be written to protect your spouse from your debts and vice versa. You do not want your credit to be impacted from someone else’s mistakes and you do not want to be paying someone else’s bills.

Prenuptial agreements can serve as a roadmap for the ways you will share expenses and responsibilities. If you are already married but do not have a prenuptial agreement, it is not too late. You can still file a post-nuptial agreement. Contact Kevin Hickey Law Partners to help you develop your prenuptial agreement or post-nuptial agreement. Let our expertise help you determine the best agreement for you and your family. In order for a prenuptial agreement to hold up in court, an attorney is necessary.

You have found yourself somewhere you never thought you would, in an abusive marriage. You have had enough and decided to take the necessary steps to leave your spouse. Kevin Hickey Law Partners does not take these cases lightly. We will assist you in preparing a plan to help you successfully leave your spouse. The plan is designed to help you determine a safe location for you to stay, ways for you to establish your independence and filing for a protective order. An abusive relationship is dangerous and is of the utmost importance to prepare ahead of time by seeking an attorney that is sensitive to the situation and has your safety first and foremost.

Halloween is the unofficial start to the holiday season and it is often overlooked when divorcing parents are making visitation arrangements, because most are focused on the big ones like Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa. Parents get honed in on who gets the kids for Christmas morning and Thanksgiving dinner, but often aren’t prepared for where the kids are going to trick or treat, what type of costume is acceptable or a curfew for older children.

To avoid a horror story consider the following:

Plan and Communicate

Planning and communication is the first line of defense to avoid the nightmare. An open line of communication with one another is key to avoiding many problems when co-parenting. Communicate with one another as to how you will both be able to enjoy the holiday with the children.

Communicating with your children as to what the plan allows them to know ahead of time will keep them from being surprised on the day of. When the children know in advance, they will have time to process and accept how things will be that day allowing them to have a fun Halloween night.

Costume Selection

Costume selection may have gone off without a hitch in years past, but after a divorce, it may become a hot topic. Working together to choose an appropriate costume for your child is a great way to set a cohesive example for your kids. One parent allowing the children to wear a costume knowing the other parent would not approve will set a bad parenting example with lasting effects. You want to keep in mind that older children may take advantage if they know you do not work together.

Splitting Time

Consider the children first. Think about their past Halloween routine. Is one parent still residing in the neighborhood that the children are familiar with? Do they have friends in that neighborhood? Do they prefer to stick with something familiar? Why not keep it classy and allow the children to trick or treat where they want? Consider splitting the night. Let them trick or treat a few hours with one spouse and a few hours with the other.  Let them think of it as getting double the candy.

If you are not able to spend Halloween night with your children, start a new tradition with your kids. Do something special like a family night of carving pumpkins; take them to a pumpkin patch or a corn maze the weekend before.

Whatever you do, do not bring the new girlfriend or boyfriend along, especially if this is all new territory for everyone. This can create tension and uneasiness for all involved—especially the children.

The most important thing is to not ask your children who they would prefer to spend Halloween with. Their first preference is going to be both parents and if that is not possible, do not put your children in an impossible position to choose.

If it so happens that you do not end up with children due to work commitments or other reasons, don’t make a big deal about to your children making them feel bad for having a good time a fun night. If you do not feel like you can handle being alone, make plans of your own with friends.

Disputes Over Religious Beliefs

This can be more difficult to maneuver than simply having a say-so in the type of costume your child is wearing, because the court must balance a parent’s First Amendment right to religious freedom. As with most situations, it would be best if the two of you could work this out rather than have the courts decide. The outcome could result in a division that could be nearly impossible to repair. All parenting agreements should consider the possibility that a child may participate in events that may offend a parent’s religious convictions. These should absolutely be addressed beforehand to allow time for both parties to defend their beliefs.

It can be more tricks than treats when working out holiday custody arrangements, so allow Kevin Hickey Law Partners to help make the holidays a smooth process for you and your family and avoid the nightmare that could evolve from poor planning.