These days it is not uncommon for a parent to need to relocate for a job. While today’s global economy has allowed some to work remotely, it has also required moves out of state or even out of the country. These job changes can be exciting and help catapult your career to the next level, but they can and often do create a big problem regarding child custody and whether or not the child is allowed to move with the custodial parent. Rightfully so, the non-custodial parent is concerned that they will not be able to see their children as often and it will be virtually impossible for them to be involved in the children’s day-to-day activities like ballgames, school plays, dance, the list goes on and on. Modifying a child custody agreement can seem daunting and, admittedly, can be difficult, but not impossible. Your first step is calling your attorney to discuss the matter; therefore, allowing the two of you to gather the appropriate evidence to support the move with your children. Then, we at, Kevin Hickey Law Partners, always recommend trying discussing the matter with your ex before taking it to court if you have any communication at all with your ex. Anything settled out of court is always the preferred method, but, unfortunately, often can’t be settled that way leaving you with the only other option of filing for a child custody agreement modification.
Most child custody agreements state that the custodial parent must get permission for moving with the children if outside the parameters set forth. There will often be a specified distance or described geographically. For instance, permission from the other parent must be received to move more than 30 miles or you may not be allowed to move out of the city. These agreed upon distance parameters are another reason it is important to have an attorney when making the initial agreement, because our firm will help you determine on the front end if a job relocation might be necessary in the future for you and your career. If we are able to discern this in the beginning, then we can build an exception to the custody agreement that a career move may be required. Even if this was built into the original custody agreement, we always recommend you discuss a move with the other parent, to keep the peace and to avoid your ex filing a modification request. Remember, the same as you can ask for a modification to move, the other parent can ask for a modification to prevent you from moving even if it is built into the original custody agreement.
If an agreement can’t be reached out of court, the first step in modifying a child custody agreement is doing your homework to prove your position in court. It is crucial for you and your attorney to prepare beforehand to gather strong evidence and arguments in support of your need to relocate. A court is looking specifically for:
- A legitimate reason for the move, i.e., a career change, remarriage or medical issue.
- The move is reasonable in light of its purpose. In other words, you’re not moving just because you feel like it.
- The move is in your children’s best interests. As unfortunate as it is, many parents make a move just to spite the other parent and make life difficult for them. If a judge discovers this, it will not reflect kindly upon you.
After the evidence is presented, to decide if the relocation is in fact in the best interest of the children they will consider many factors including, but not limit to:
- The children’s relationships with both parents.
- The impact of the move regarding the children’s ability to spend meaningful time with both parents.
- The feasibility of making alternative parenting time arrangements to accommodate the move.
- Economic, emotional and educational benefits received from the move.
- If the children are old enough, the court will consider their preferences when making their decision.
Family law matters involving children and a parent’s ability to see his or her children are complex and difficult to maneuver. We at Kevin Hickey Law Partners have helped many parents work through relocation and custodial agreement modifications. Let our experience and expertise work for you. Call today.
A question that we often get during divorce consultations is, “How much will the divorce cost?” While that is a valid question, there is no one answer. Each case is unique. Some divorcing couples have very few assets or generally agree on how they want to divide marital property resulting in minimal cost and, on the other side of the coin; some couples disagree on everything leading to high divorce costs. Let’s look at factors affecting divorce costs:
- Arkansas is a “fault” state; meaning the parties must have a valid reason to request the divorce. The reason does not need to be some specific, wrongful act or behavior that led to the divorce. If both parties are in agreeance, then the cost will be minimal. However, if a “fault divorce” is filed there may be additional costs associated with providing evidence of the fault. Arkansas recognizes the following fault grounds:
- Impotence
- A felony conviction
- Alcohol abuse for at least one year
- Cruel treatment that endangers the other spouse’s life
- Behavior that results in intolerable humiliation, embarrassment, or shame to the other spouse
- Adultery
- Incurable insanity, and
- Willful failure to support the other spouse despite a legal obligation to do so.
- Divorces involving minor children tend to cost a little more, especially if one spouse is being unreasonable about the children, visitation and/or child support. To help determine child support received or paid, it is beneficial to provide documentation detailing how much it generally costs to meet your child’s needs. You should also consider your child’s current standards of living and what it will cost to maintain it. Read my previous blog detailing child support payments here.
- Ironically, financial disagreements such as alimony increase overall divorce expenses. Alimony disputes can get very detailed requiring financial analysts, accountants and the like to provide evidence in each party’s favor. These disagreements can and most likely will extend divorce proceedings as they drag on.
- As mentioned, property division has an effect on the expenses associated with divorce proceedings. Couples that have a lot of marital property can expect a longer and more costly divorce. In addition to more attorneys’ fees, other professionals will need to be consulted such as financial analysts, real estate appraisers, personal property appraisers, and so on.
- Cooperation or non-cooperation play major roles in costs associated with divorce. For example, if one party is unwilling to fully disclose all their assets and liabilities then it is inevitable that costs will increase as formal filings will be made requiring the spouse to provide truthful documents.
In order to keep costs at bay during a divorce, you and your spouse should agree on the following:
- Marital property division.
- Alimony/Spousal support.
- Child support.
- Child custody.
- Visitation schedules.
What if you don’t have the money to hire your own attorney? These days it is increasingly unusual to see judges issue orders requiring one spouse to pay the other’s divorce attorney’s fees in dual income families. If you don’t have the cash readily available, a judge may let the spouse use some of the marital property for attorney’s fees with the understanding that when the property is eventually divided, the other spouse will be reimbursed. In the case that one spouse intentionally drives up the cost of litigation by delaying proceedings and withholding information pertinent to the divorce, a judge may be inclined to grant the other spouse’s request for attorney’s fees as a penalty for the inappropriate conduct. Examples of conduct that the court does not look too kindly upon:
- Continuously filing motions with the court about trivial matters.
- Refusal to comply with court orders.
- Delay in providing requested information to the other spouse.
- Failure to appear for hearings or court-ordered mediation sessions.
Generally speaking, divorce attorneys charge by the hour, rather than a flat rate fee due to the uniqueness of each case. A fee called a “retainer” will be required to retain our services. This in turn “prebooks” your attorney’s time just for you. Any money not earned by the attorney is returned to you at the end of the divorce proceedings.
Schedule a consultation with Kevin Hickey Law Partners to assist you in your divorce. We will help you plan and move forward with the divorce process and keep you informed about your legal rights and requirements. Whether your divorce is clear-cut or more difficult, no divorce is ever simple. Even if the divorce is uncontested, it is advisable that each party to the divorce seek legal counsel. Let us make sure all the forms are filled out correctly, keep you from agreeing to something that could eventually harm you and identify assets that you might not even know you are entitled to. In many of the cases we see, the divorce proceedings start out amicable, but end quite the opposite. It is best to begin with your own attorney, because in the end it could end up costing your more money.
The holidays are filled with happiness and joyous occasions…most of the time. For families of divorce the holidays can be anything but those things. They are often filled with struggle and conflict about custody. Then, top all of that off with emotions in regards to past relationships you have a recipe for a very stressful time of year. It doesn’t have to be that way; you can regain the joy and happiness in your holidays with a bit of planning, collaboration and especially communication.
The first step in a happy holiday season is to determine which holidays are most important to you. For example, is Thanksgiving more important to you than Christmas Eve? If so, then communicate this to the co-parent. Christmas Eve may be more important to him or her; thus, eliminating a conflict. There will be times that you both want the children on the same day. If you live close enough to one another, then you could possibly share the day. To split the holiday in one day requires some coordinating, but it can help children not feel torn and guilty for enjoying the day with one parent and not the other. For example, one parent could host a Thanksgiving brunch or early lunch and the other could host a Thanksgiving dinner allowing the children to spend an enjoyable day with both parents. If you do not live near one another, then you will most likely need to alternate years with the co-parent. If it is not your “year” to spend the holiday with your child, you can still let your child know you are thinking of him or her by sending a package to arrive in time for the holiday.
Planning ahead with your ex will help to identify conflicts and sort them out early. This also allows the children to know ahead of time where they will be spending the holiday. Couples often forget that the children need time to plan as well. This is especially important if the divorce is fairly recent and this will be their first year or two spending the holidays with each parent separately. Kevin Hickey Law Partners can help you go through this process and present it to your ex and/or his or her attorney. If it is short notice, it is unlikely the court will approve a change, but we can work with your spouse’s attorney to help reach the same compromise that the court will likely order.
Additionally, if your children are old enough, check in with them. They have inner lives to consider as well. Talk to them to get an idea of what is important to them and what they want to do on their vacation.
After you have determined the best holiday visitation schedule for you and your children, it will need to be written down. In order to be valid, the agreement should be signed by both you and your ex. This ensures that you both understand the agreement and it is favorable evidence if your ex fails to adhere to it.
A couple of other things to keep in mind this holiday season:
- If you plan to take your children out-of-state, check your custody agreement. Many have provisions prohibiting out-of-state and/or a distance over a certain amount of miles without telling the other parent. You will need to ask permission first.
- Think twice before purchasing a gift for your child that you know will upset the co-parent. If you feel the gift is safe and appropriate, then it is a good idea to make a deal with your child that it only stays at your house.
Planning and communicating early allows you to focus on the children and making their holidays memorable and happy. After all, isn’t that your first priority? To make sure your children are happy and secure. Contact Kevin Hickey Law Partners to let us help you work out a holiday schedule for you and your children. We not only identify relevant holidays, but we also help establish the parameters. If you get the children on Christmas Day, when does it start? Is it 9:00 am, 12:00 pm, etcetera? We are also here to help you when legal questions arise. Our team is dedicated to your legal care.
The holidays are just over a month away and we often see many clients wrestling with whether or not to file for divorce before or after the holiday season. In our professional opinion, there are good and bad points to both choices. There are several reasons to grin and bear it until after the holiday season practically, financially and emotionally. Yet, filing for divorce before the end of year can give you the peace of mind to start the New Year fresh and avoid any chance that something could derail your divorce plans like an illness or loss of a job.
Reasons to Delay Divorce until After the Holidays
- If you and your spouse can maintain civility and amicability through the holidays, it may be a good idea to get through them if you have kids at home. This will help keep your children from associating the holidays with the divorce. It is hard for children to adapt to a new home and the idea of spending the holidays separately with each parent. No, we’re not saying to “stay together for the kids”, but it is an unintentional consequence that you must consider.
- This may seem superficial and materialistic, but things like this are what you pay your attorney to think about for you—year-end bonuses. If your spouse received a year-end bonus, you may be hurting your chances of receiving half of it. Of course, even if you wait until January to file, you may encounter backlash from your spouse’s attorney. If the payment is considered to be for services from the past year, you have a good chance of receiving half since you lived with your spouse for the entire year.
- Taxes are not always at the forefront of your mind when you are wrestling with the idea of filing for divorce, but waiting until the first of the year will make filing the previous year much easier. Beginning the New Year with a clean slate so to speak, will make tax preparation much simpler in the future.
- You will have the opportunity to gather information for your attorney such as all marital assets and debts. You will also have the opportunity to get personal things such as finances and a place to live if you will be moving out of the family home.
Reasons to File for Divorce before the Holidays
- If you and your spouse are continuously fighting, delaying the divorce may do more harm than good. Delaying the inevitable only places all parties, including your children, under stress.
- Many life factors beyond your control can happen in a split second causing you to delay your divorce plans. Significant events such as the loss of job or an illness can negate your feelings of wanting a divorce. After all, you have history with this person and you can’t help but feel drawn to want to help them through such a difficult time.
- If it’s time, it’s time. Delaying a divorce to avoid short-term pain is still going to hurt in the end. It is going to hurt the people that it will hurt regardless of when you do it.
- Knowing the decision you will ultimately make could make the holidays harder on everyone by stewing on it.
- If your spouse is abusive, it is imperative that you leave him or her immediately for your safety as well as your children’s safety.
Whether you decide to file for divorce before the end of the year or after is a personal decision that must have all outcomes weighed for your best interest as well as your children’s best interests. Remember, what matters the most is how you deliver the news to those immediately affected by the decision. Of course, you need to be sensitive of the timing. For example, it is not advisable to do it on Christmas morning or any significant day for that matter.
We at Kevin Hickey Law Partners encourage you to schedule a consultation with us to help you determine the best timing. Even if you decide to wait until after the first of the year, it is a good idea to make your appointment today to begin preparations for the filing. Our experience will help you make the best decisions for your circumstance to help you get through the holiday season.